Zombies vs Cicadas: Rising From the Earth, Having Sex, and Dying

Life in the Boomer Lane


If you live in the northeastern part of the United States, next month, against all odds, you will not be thinking about Donald Trump, terrorism, or the possibility of needing a stronger antiperspirant.  Every single brain cell you still posses will be consumed with sheer terror at what is happening on your very doorstep.

It will start innocently enough. You will have gone about your business, neglecting to notice small holes appearing on your front lawn.  Then one day, you look will out your window, or go out to retrieve the newspaper, and you will notice large, barrel-chested insects all over the ground. Like zombies, they seem harmless enough, just sort of floundering around, waiting for your car to obliterate them as you back it out of the driveway.

You may feel sorry for them.  You may consider trying to gather them up and bring them to a nearby nature…

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